globmark

a new use for tea

Thu, 13 Sep 2007 01:01:42 GMT

Well, the holidays are winding down and now I am getting ready to really move back to California. I am not ready to say goodbye to my friends yet!! I just cant. I had a lovely dinner with John and Marlene and made plans to see the 1st Emperor exhibition at the British Museum with them a few days before I fly home.

I am not good at goodbyes. I go all 'opium' and fuzzy. then a week later I find myself sighing, sad, missing them. But it is a great excuse to come back and visit!

chocolate chip cookies ARE good for the soul

Sat, 14 Jul 2007 09:53:41 GMT

I came home from work last night and made chocolate chip cookies for dinner. I was of course pretty wired from the sugar, which was great because it helped me with my packing (I am moving to housesit at a friends in a few weeks) and getting rid of things (I am moving back to CALIFORNIA in October) and was a lovely chocolate hug 'you can do it girl!' I did a nice colour meditation before bed, fell asleep around 1230am, woke with a full spinning head around 630am but thought, 'its ok if I don't fall back asleep, but I would like to, and to have nice dreams'. I did fall back asleep, and dreamt I was at my parent's house, petting their lovely cats and kittens!

I woke up sleepy, with a smile on my face. I am now eating my porridge (porridge, like broccoli, absolves one of all food sins, nourishes nerves, high in B vits, great for High Blood Pressure, High Cholesterol, stress, balances blood sugar levels, will even hoover your carpet and dust your furniture if you ask it politely).

Its grey and warm, I think the sun will come out in the afternoon!

muse calling

Wed, 11 Jul 2007 15:12:37 GMT

For the past few days I have been editing and loading all of my minidiscs onto Audacity on my computer. My plan is to edit it (further) and make some CDs. Strange to hear myself so much. I was really amazing in 2002, just as I was meeting Simon. Why did fate throw him in my path? I felt so professional, so ready at that concert. If I had not met him, would I now have a professional career? Where would I be?

I should upgrade so I can put audio tracks on this blog (is it worth $11 per month, or should I just use myspace?). I am listening to a touching rendetion of Vedrai Carino (featuring me!), during a voice lesson, with just a hint of piano accompaniment by my teacher Paula.

Sigh. I miss it. Not the ambition, or need to express my sadness or anger, but the beauty, spirit, colours of the sound island I inhabited for varying lenghs of time, sometimes only a few precious seconds, sometimes a glorious, langourous uncountable length of time.

post holiday blah

Thu, 14 Jun 2007 15:58:40 GMT

It is so hard to come back to reality. I am currently rewarding myself for all my completed tasks with fresh brewed ginger ice tea and organic lemon biscuits.

Completed:
1. Read and replied to divorce petition (wasn't too bad really, just the anticipation of opening the letter). Takes up to 6 months. Official papers coming later by post.

2. Rearranged furniture and cleaned room (my usual coping mechanism, completed before task #1)

3. Opened, filed and organised post

4. Did 2 loads of laundry

Became Frustrated with:
Nero 7 trial. Downloaded it in hopes of being able to make CDs. A simple task, I would think, but I am stuck. All I want to do is save a bunch of my CDs to my hard drive, with the names of the individual songs listed, so I can later go to 'my music', pick songs and make compilation CDs. Tried using Windows media player and Nero and got totally confused, felt like a computer idiot.

Recovered a bit with:
Updating and adding a bunch of my favourite pages to my blog. It really was only simple cut and paste into the HTML, but it made me feel better!

Looking forward to:
Dancing tonight at Thames Rowing Club!

felicite

Mon, 11 Jun 2007 17:22:52 GMT

A gourmet day:

Listening to the passion and enthusiasm of the owner of Chateau Joliet as he described the alchemy of wine making

did you know they use fire and water to shape the wine barrels?

Discovering a grape variety I had never heard of - Negrette - dark ruby, floral, smooth

A visit to the midaevil village Cordes Sur Ciel

A superb dinner on the terrace of Bistrot Tonin'ty, under a 300 year old wisteria

Roasted rack of lamb with lavender, thyme, garlic, courgette and carrot flan

Rognon de veau flamb� au Cognac sauce moutarde � l'ancienne, garniture printani�re

Tarte fine aux pommes, compot�e de rhubarbe et glace cannelle

Mi-cuit au chocolat et glace pain d'�pices

The cinnamon and gingerbread ice creams were so incredible we asked for a second helping

French coffee, noir, a perfectly smooth taste of bitter

An evening stroll through the cobbled streets

the quiet peace, the heat and the sensuality of the evening

Je suis pompette!

Sat, 02 Jun 2007 00:11:12 GMT

Right. was out with a sweet friend Lin, at a lovely wine bar. only three glasses (plus a few sips of tasting).... what a light weight, no?

Super evening, talking, catching up.... reminiscing about the lovely weekend in Montpellier and so looking forward to Toulouse next week. Funny, never thought I'd be a Francophile, but then je suis arrive et instantement une 'fan'.... (that is probably all not real French, no matter). I just loved the people, the way they thought about things, their courtesy (greet and kiss everyone in a group when you arrive), the food (aperitif, entree, course,vin, cafe), the history, the atmosphere... why has so much architecture and art and history in France survived the war? Did they see that playing the game, eg, accepting the situation, however atrocious, served a longer term goal of perserving art, culture, buildings, history?

Just a tipsy question....

my cat

Sun, 13 May 2007 10:14:07 GMT

when I get home to SF I am getting one of these. Orange and white stripeys are the coolest.

get me outta here now

Sat, 05 May 2007 20:19:58 GMT

What the hell am I doing in this country? After a boring day at work, where I was the only one to sell a 'bundle' (latest promo) half-heartedly at the end of the day, I decided to get a 'burrito' takeaway. Because my landlord (I live in a bed-sit/roomates type situation) is having colleagues/friends for dinner this evening, and I dont want to be in the kitchen. I really wanted to go out, but of course this is one evening everyone is busy, and I thought, great, I can hang out in my room, add some stuff to my myspace page, watch a film, relax. I look in the phone book - 2 listings under 'mexican', one I have been to and it was rubbish. So I go to the second place to pick up my 2 vegie burritos for �8.95 (yes, thats about $15). There are 2 containers. I open the top one, it is full of chips. Not tortilla chips, noooo, english chips, about a double order of mcdonalds size fries.

'Excuse me, I didn't order these...'

'Oh, it comes with chips'.

I hazard a request 'You wouldn't happen to have TORTILLA chips, would you?'

She looks at me, a bit confused. 'No, sorry'.

I tasted a few of the chips on my way home. Yup, just like mcdonalds, tho less salt. I came home, parked and put the chips under my car to discard later (I dont want my bedroom smelling of chips), go upstairs and try the burritos. Two smallish flour tortillas, filled with what looks and tastes like a bland tomato based pasta sauce, with a few mange tout, carrots, tomato chunks, maybe a bit of onion. A couple of jalapenos dot the top of the burritos, along with more tomato sauce, and a glowing green tasteless avacado based creamy paste. (I skipped the cheese and sour'ed' cream.) I put some plain yoghurt on it, and ate it quickly.

This tragic experience is spurring me to contact Elephant Pharm next week. Why the hell wait till the Autumn? The only real joy right now is dancing, and seeing friends. And I have both in SF.

Broccoli is God

Mon, 30 Apr 2007 19:31:01 GMT

I have great faith in the ability of broccoli to absolve me from all food and drink sins. I went into the zone at waitrose today, thinking of which veg to get to make mr broccoli really yummy. Oh, I succeded. Foodie bliss.

your favourite breed of rice

1 biggish broccoli

1 butternut squash (I attacked it first with the bread knife, chopping it roughly because its so damn hard)

1/2 bulb garlic

Red onion, also attacked with bread knife

Glug some decent olive oil over the veg (but not mr broccoli), and chuck it into a medium/high heat oven for about 45 mins. If you leave some of the outer dry bits on the red onion and break it apart a bit, the outer bits come out like chips, to be devoured immediately as they come out of the oven.

Take the veg out, chop it and mixed it all together while separately steaming the broccoli and boiling the rice.

Add 3 sprigs of fresh marjoram to the olive oil reserves in the veg pan, turn up the heat a bit and caramalize the marjoram.

mix it all together and eat too much because it tastes so damn good.

newsworthy

Tue, 24 Apr 2007 23:14:53 GMT

Ok. I am trying to read the news again. A bit at least, the important stuff.

Could this really be happening? ooh, the anticipation!

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2007/04/22/wgore22.xml

an English Spring

Thu, 19 Apr 2007 09:54:11 GMT

April is a lovely month to be in the south of England. The greenhouse effect has particularly favoured us this month, it was hot enough on Monday to sunbathe (and I happened to have the day off), and the past couple of days have been sunny and pleasant.

The wisteria are not flowering yet, but the leaves and branches are climbing up my window. I have a view of the garden, and like to watch the fox sleeping just through the cut doorway in the hedge. There is large pile of brown grass which he sleeps on, encircled and head tucked in, and he blends in perfectly. As I savour my jasmine tea, he raises his head, yawns lazily, tucks his head back in.

Today I have a Gilbert and Sullivan performance with WWOS, singing about 6 arias and ensembles, and a bunch of chorus numbers from most of the G&S operas. My favourite, which I am singing for the first time, is the madrigal from Mikado. Should be fun.

descent

Wed, 11 Apr 2007 00:06:43 GMT

my castle is crumbling. I am bereft, treading water,hesitant.

what of dance? my muse, tonight, she was aloof.

perhaps it is the venue - or is it england? the english?

too careful, too contained, too polite.

clawing my way into cat's corner, trying desperately to collect and store names, faces.

no, its ok, be business, make connections, set up a blues night, administrate, organise.

they will not love me more if I am a better dancer

would they even deserve it? most of them are simply skilled, clever.

I see very little light in the room

only my first lead, surely african and not english

sigh, perhaps I am overtired

but I feel something is lacking here, in this place

feet that dont touch the ground

Sun, 08 Apr 2007 20:30:19 GMT

Wowl. What an incredible holiday. I just love my family, I am so happy for them and excited about their interests and self growth. My friends in SF were generous, hospitable and lovely and I really enjoyed seeing them in their new environments - I find it fascinating that so many of my friends are going through major life changes.

I arrived back into London on Thursday, but don't feel back yet. Slept really well on the plane but haven't been sleeping regularly since, my head is spinning, hopping, jiving, tangoing, bluesing. I am learning so much about myself and making wonderful friends dancing!

When I was checking out all of the natural product stores in the bay area I put an application form in with a natural pharmacy, and had a very encouraging conversation with the head of personnel.

I could do it, you know. Move back to SF and have a great job and spend all my evenings dancing and seeing friends. The Lindy hop scene seems better here in London, but SF is the place for blues. Lindy is pure joy, Blues is pure passion. How lucky I am to have discovered both.

Holiday or Home

Fri, 30 Mar 2007 00:25:34 GMT

First day in San Francisco. I drove straight to Golden Gate Park and walked around 'my' old haunt, the North Lake. I felt so alive, energised. I wondered if I would be similarly inspired by the sea, and was a bit disappointed, but proud to admit that my hometown Ventura has one of the best beaches (sand, surf, views, not thronged by tourists, don't need to be a movie star to afford to lie on them) in the world.

Walked through Lindley Meadow among the groves of Eucalyptus, Fir and Pine, then sat for a while with my back against a Red Cedar, contemplating my future. What should I do? Should I move back? Could I do it? It scares me, the change. I sought refuge in the tiny health food shops along Fillmore street, looking at the lotions, the aromatherapy oils, all so familiar now, and yet different. I started writing down the names of 'our competitors', wanting to return to NYR and say, 'send me back to SF now, I will find our new store and set it up for you.'

My two friends here are from my past, the world of western medicine, drugs for everything, doctors. One has gone the traditional job, marriage, kids route. The other I see tomorrow - still very much a city girl, I believe. Where would I fit? My friend's father reminded me of it yesterday 'You have a variety of accents'. I want to speak with my own voice, and I think I am finding it, albeit slowly.

I wish I knew where I would be in a year. But for now, I will try to remind myself that I am on holiday, and here to have fun!

arg nit state of mind

Wed, 21 Mar 2007 09:14:38 GMT

Going home to California tomorrow. I still call it 'home' although I have lived in the UK for nearly 8 years now. I wonder if it will still feel like 'home'? I haven't been there since 2004, and lots of things have changed since then. I was just looking over my old blogs, and saw a post from October of last year, the 7 year anniversary of my coming to the UK to live. I reasoned then that I would probably rather live in California, and at that time I felt eager to move back. So many things have changed since then, and I am happy to be learning about myself, building friendships here, sometimes struggling but also having fun and dancing! I have booked to go to my first dance camp in Montpellier, by myself (!) in May, and I may go to Sweden and Prague in the summer as well. I am partly compelled by this 'if I am moving back, I must see all of the places in Europe I wanted to see', isn't this is a great way to live? To make the most of where I am now...

musical genius

Thu, 15 Mar 2007 22:33:04 GMT

A friend sent me this link which really made my day. Enjoy.

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x12565_beatbox-fame-game

my hands smell like carpet shampoo

Mon, 26 Feb 2007 22:27:10 GMT

I am moving on Wednesday, leap year. Grandpa would have turned 96, had he lived two more years. He had 'good innings', still I really miss him. He was so cool. When he was around 90 he was getting out of his car to go to Carrows one evening and this teenage kid tried to take his car, and grandpa nearly knocked him out! He would have punched my ex for leaving me, and honestly I would have loved to see it.

Been thinking about my past alot. Old boyfriends, old friends. Found Alex on Myspace, he is engaged. Really happy for him, I always wondered if he would remain an intellectual batchelor. Good for him.

Wonder if Jules has kids and is married? Actually re-married, come to think of it, I sang at her first marriage some 14 years ago...

I was really inspired today reading Lynette's Myspace posting of Steph's comments on love. I have a stone that has the word 'patience' written on it, and I think I'll carry it in my pocket!

It feels ok these past couple of days, bit nervous about the change, but I think it will be really good to go to a new place, and to let go, with this move.

Let go of blame, anger, resentment, sadness

Make room for acceptance, peace, happiness, laughter

the secret

Sat, 10 Feb 2007 09:52:40 GMT

The Secret is no secret to me.

I have used the Secret for years, to find the perfect home to move into, and it works amazingly.

I used the secret to bring my ex into my life, for what I needed to learn at that moment, and I do believe that I learned many things, for example:

I brought a partner into my life who had his own mind and opinions and would not be controlled or manipulated

I brought gentleness into my life

I brought someone into my life who would really listen to me

I learned to listen better, to be more gentle with others

These positive traits will stay with me

I am adding to these traits on a daily basis:

unconditional self love

non-judgement

laughter

friendship

feeling a heluva lot better

Wed, 07 Feb 2007 23:08:11 GMT

Went to meditation class this evening, feeling grounded now. Focus on the present, I think, for the time being, as I get pretty dark and panicky if I go too far into the future.

As the roots of a plant anchor it in the ground and give it stability, the knowledge of one's cultural and spiritual heritage gives a sure foundation on which to build one's sense of identity.....

recipe

Wed, 07 Feb 2007 14:54:41 GMT

ingredients

1 heart

very very sharp knife

pair of gloves

jiffy bag, pre-addressed

phone

1. phone courier, arrange for a pick-up at 2pm sharp. Pre-pay.

2. at 1:45pm go to kitchen. Put gloves on.

3. place 2 fingers to the left of breast bone.

4. exhale completely, and place tip of knife to the left of two fingers, holding with both hands.

5. inhale sharply, at the same time driving knife deep into chest.

6. twist knife into a careful circle, counterclockwise, the shape of a small fist.

7. using right hand, carefully scoop out heart, discarding small bone fragments.

8. place in pre-addressed jiffy bag.

9. go to front door, place bag outside of front door, close door.

10. don't worry. it wont really hurt. it's only physical pain.